and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
