Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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