Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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