I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
