I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize