I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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