it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
