So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hippo gnu deer
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
