No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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