you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
porn star boner night. come get it.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Boobs are out for the taking
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
