Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
