I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
