we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
