do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
