Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
