just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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