It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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