Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
