I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
