Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
