Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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