After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
drinking out of a sandbucket again
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
