Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
