I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
