I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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