Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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