it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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