you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
