Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The adults are the big ones right?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
