I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
