drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
