so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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