it was like eating out sand paper
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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