Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
