My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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