it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
