; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
