I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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