Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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