My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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