So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
