y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
