I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
