wakey wakey hands off snakey
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
As shirtless as possible
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
