Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just gargled with NyQuil
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
