lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
