Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
