my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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