Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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