dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
