You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would ride that face into the sunset
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
