Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
3pm strippers are depressing
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
