I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
