It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
