Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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