Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
