Its about making memories worth repressing
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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