if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
