He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
