Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize