hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I could fuck to npr.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
