I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
